Outcast by Josephine Cox

Author:Josephine Cox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Headline
Published: 2010-12-24T05:00:00+00:00

The short sleep was feverish and fitful. In the early hours, Emma woke suddenly from her nightmares with a cry of alarm. Realizing that she was safely alone in her room and that the clawing monsters had remained behind in the realms of her frantic dream, she relaxed against the cold brass bars of the bed-head. With a grateful sigh, she brought up her hands to wipe from her face the sweat which stood out in small wet beads, clinging to her skin like early morning dew. Then, stretching out her arms and locking her slender fingers together behind her neck, she leaned back again and closed her eyes. ‘You’d best shake your feathers, Emma Grady!’ she reproached herself. ‘Dreaming isn’t for the likes of you!’

She found herself thinking of Martha, who at least had been given some say in choosing her man. The thought of Martha brought a wry little smile to Emma’s face, and as she imagined her cousin with a brood of children she couldn’t help herself from laughing out loud. She wondered for a fleeting moment whether, given the choice, she would prefer to swap places with her cousin Martha. The thought terrified Emma! No! She was who she was – Emma Grady, daughter of Thadius and Mary. She had some wonderful memories and she had Manny. If her lot now was not everything she might have wished for, then there were many more worse off than her.

In the face of such reasoning, Emma chided herself and decided that she must be grateful for every mercy, small or otherwise. After all, Gregory Denton was a good man, and he loved her. But, try as she might to console herself with this, Emma’s heart could not wholly accept it, for the image living there was not of Gregory. Nor was that deep well of love she felt meant for him. And, even though her memories of her beloved Marlow warmed her heart and gave her immeasurable pleasure, she yearned for more: she longed for those dark eyes to gaze on her and for those strong arms to hold her close. Emma knew she could never be truly happy without Marlow; she could never forget him. But she could – she must – learn to live without him.

Getting up from the bed, Emma crossed over to the window where she opened wide the curtains and looked out at the sky. Soon, the sun would rise and a new day begin. A new year, and, for her, the start of a whole new life. What would it be like, she wondered, with that deep anxiety which would not leave her.

Emma went across to the small circular table where she lit the oil lamp. Then, glancing at the small brass clock on the mantelpiece which told her it was almost five a.m., she realized that the day had already begun for her because it would be futile to return to her bed and try to sleep. There was no more sleep in her, not now.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.